What matters?

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As I was growing up, I was told by many, ‘Oh! You look beautiful’. My parents would feel proud listening to such compliments. As I entered my teenage, pimples started popping up and I heard the same people saying, ‘Look at you, what is happening to your face?’ I thought there is something really wrong and I decided I will have to look good again – That is where it all began: Looking good is very important.
As I started going to college, started getting more attention, I realized it is all because of my looks. One fine day, I lost all my confidence because I became fat and started losing charm on my face. It struck me so hard that I was least bothered about what I wear and how I look. I wanted recognition for something else than just my external appearance.
I started seeing what it could be if not looks. That’s when money came into my life. A cousin from a poor family got married into a rich family and the way she was treated from that day by our relatives was completely different. My cousin confidence also went up really high. Being born and brought up in a middle-class family made me think, wow, it is the money that makes all the difference.
I started witnessing many instances in my life where people started fighting for money. Relationships didn’t matter anymore. I then declared ‘money is evil’. A jobless guy then asked my parents if he can marry me because he likes me, I thought ‘how dare he? What does he have to take care of me?’ I then realized, ‘yes money matters’.
End of the all these experiences, I realized looks matter and also money matters. Because even today I look at myself and want to get rid of that new popped up a pimple. But, is this all everything? I then got into volunteering which introduced me to many beautiful aspects of life. But then, they say look good, neat and presentable because you expect it from others. Even they wanted us to volunteer at our expenses. So, volunteering also needs money and looks.
So, my mind is bombarded with these thoughts always. Once in a while, I shift my decision and opinion on these two things. A question pops up – These two norms are because of the society, but are we not a part of this society.

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